"I simply can’t do it"
Going past our fear of speaking in public is possible and feasible for everyone
The initial objection I get from anyone blocked by stage fright is the simple observation “I simply can’t do it, that’s how I am.”
A young woman explained to me what happens in her mind when speaking in public. She told me she is an introvert and when she’s on stage the introvert takes over. When I asked her to tell me a situation when she did great on stage, she remembers one. And I challenge her to think what was different in that occasion.
Guess what? She was extremely well prepared, contrary to other occasions when she froze. Yet she attached the fright to her being an introvert. Too often we label ourselves in ways that make it much more difficult to speak in public.
“I’m an introvert” is a terrible label. Because as much as it might be true, it does not automatically imply that we cannot speak in public. Yet we use it as an excuse and maybe the reason lies elsewhere, like in her case where not being prepared caused her to become anxious and self aware.
hide or manage my fears?
Many people manage to speak on stage in spite of their stage fright. They just hide it or try to. They learned to be on stage with a fake sense of security and control that helps them to go through the experience. Which is fine because they manage to do the job. But it’s also highly inefficient. They undergo extreme stress and anxiety while faking their composure on stage.
Yet they wouldn’t need it in the first place. By managing to prepare and rehearse that talk time and again, they demonstrate that they are able to deliver it on stage. They just make their lives harder by fighting the beast inside. What if they acknowledged their fears and did it anyways? Acknowledging your fear with yourself is a powerful tool. “Yes I’m afraid, and yes I know I’m able to do it.”
Other people still, decide to manage their fears. Similar to those who hide them, these people acknowledge the fear and do something about it. Meditation, breathing and all sorts of exercises to tame the fear. Which work to an extent, yet keeps the focus on the fear rather than on the talk. “I do it so that I tame my fear.”
Conclusion
What if we acquired a mindset where fear is just a mild annoyance that we don’t have to cope with. Like a noisy air conditioning system which might annoy us but won’t make us blunder our talk. We can get to this point and it will make us much more powerful in delivering our talk.
That talk won’t be in spite of fear.
It won’t be about fear anymore.
We will be able to concentrate on our talk and the value we are delivering to the audience!
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Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.